The Single Worst Thing You Can do When it Gets Chilly in Punta Gorda

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Taken in BSI this week--I'll take kayaking over thunder snow any day

Taken in BSI this week–I’ll take kayaking over thunder snow any day.

It’s chilly in Punta Gorda today. Here you are living the dream, and now you have to throw on a sweater and long pants. I know. It’s awful.

The highs won’t be in the 70s and 80s again until Saturday—two whole days from now!

What are you going to do until then?

You can go to the Club and have lunch. Get projects around the house done. Binge on Netflix. It doesn’t matter what you do as long as you don’t make  this one horrible mistake.

Do not, under any circumstances, call your northern friends and attempt to commiserate with their winter woes. Don’t try to get their pity. It won’t work. I’ve tried. I lived in Boston for years. My Boston friends have no sympathy for me when I whine about highs in the 50s.

I try to tell them, 50s are “Florida freezing.” They don’t want to hear it. Remember, northerners associate 50 degrees with melting snow, clearing roads, and fewer layers. It’s amazing to think in some places 50 degrees is a sign of hope.

But it’s true. It’s likely that you’ve spent the last few months talking about your boat trips, casually mentioning golf scores, and posting pictures of you at the TT’s Tiki bar. You lost any hope of sympathy months ago.

You’ll must wait out Punta Gorda’s winter with other locals.

The Good News about Punta Gorda Winters

You may never get the sympathy you deserve for surviving the chilly front of 2015. I do have good news though.

1. Punta Gorda winters last 2-10 non-consecutive days. We had a couple of cooler days last week. This cold front is supposed to last through tomorrow. Last year, I think we had four days of winter. This year we may have as many as six. It’s rough. I feel sorry for us, even if your northern friends won’t.

2. You’re life will never get to the point when you’re waiting for thunder snow. Even on our worst weather days, you’ll never go so crazy you stand outside in 87 layers hoping for thunder snow. When I see this, all I can think is, “I hope they pay that guy really well.”

cantore-thundersnow-boston-3

 

Nobody is paying your northern friends to stand out in the snow. Yet they’re still up there, not feeling sorry for you. All you can do, is get out your winter jacket and bundle up. It’s going to be a chilly, two days of winter.

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